1 June 2016

Today is most assuredly a molasses day. It started last night. I could feel it creeping into my mind and starting to block out my usual tolerance levels and clear thinking. It felt like the molasses was slowly being poured into my brain. I started rushing around straightening and picking up anything not in its proper place. The more chaos builds in my head, the greater need for everything outside of me to be clutter free and organized. I did take one of my new pills, but I waited too long and it built too fast. I finally relented and just headed into our room with some paper and a pen. 

I might have seen it coming. I have been gathering projects for a few days (because I’ve been feeling great and full of energy) and, last night, they all came at me at one time and completely overwhelmed me. I sat down and made a list of all I have going on that is outside of just regular daily activities. I really knew I was wading through molasses when I started thinking about how many things are actually involved in “getting ready for the day.” It’s really not just one thing. Some days it is, but on days like last night, it breaks down into smaller and smaller pieces and together there are far too many. Full sensory overload occurring!

I slept in late this morning (FYI: just putting all of these thoughts onto this blog are making me anxious and shaky), meditated, put on my workout clothes, said my prayers. The Lord and I both know I’m going to be needing to be carried today. Another half anxiety pill, cleaned off my desk, and started on the list. I have so much admiration for people who can get through the day and not have every tiny little thing feel like a hurdle to overcome. I wish I had the words to explain how it feels to see all of the individual parts and how overwhelming it is. I just hope the meds kick in soon because I really do have some things I need and want to do. 


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